A Book Review: The Gifts of Imperfection by Brené Brown
What made me read this book?
I had just embarked on a healing journey in the fall of 2017. I left my job as a mental health therapist. I began receiving trauma therapy weekly consisting of EMDR & Brainspotting. I felt lost, broken, shattered. I had been trying to control my external environment in hopes that it would make me feel better and feel normal. I wanted to feel the way that everyone else seemed to feel effortlessly. During this time, I started expanding my knowledge through books and transformational accounts on Instagram. I just remember opening myself up during this time. I found Brené Brown on YouTube and went down the rabbit hole. I loved everything she had to say. I’ve read many of her books at this point, but The Gifts Of Imperfection was my first.
What did I feel when I read it?
I felt inspired - Brené speaks of the struggle to feel like we are enough. All my life, I have been plagued with feeling less than enough. Some of us struggle in certain aspects of life with not feeling enough. Have you ever just not felt like you were worthy enough to even be a human?
I felt seen - I found validation as I turned through the pages. When we go through trauma we are separated from ourselves, and from the world. We believe that nobody will understand our suffering. We compare our suffering to others, either it’s too much so people won’t understand or it’s too little to be valid.
I felt capable - I found this book relatable and digestible. It’s a great book for someone beginning their healing journey as well as someone down the rabbit hole of their healing journey.
I felt brave - This book was one of the first gems I found on my journey and I’m so glad I did. This book gave me the permission I needed to just live. Lean into all the things I had been missing in my life like creativity, play, joy & dance.
“Owning our story and loving ourselves through that process is the bravest thing that we will ever do."
-Brene’ Brown
What stayed with me after reading the book?
What I remembered about this book that I read years ago is that Brene’ gave me permission to be what I wanted. I went from saying things like “I wish I could be a writer” to “I am a writer.” Just because I’m not getting paid to be a writer doesn’t mean I’m not one. Just because I don’t write on a regular basis doesn’t mean I’m not a writer. If I aspire to be a writer and I do write, then I am a writer. It was very freeing to come to this realization. It helped me have more self-compassion and find more joy in the pursuit because I didn’t have to wait to reach some milestone in order to even call myself a writer. If you enjoy dancing in your kitchen when you’re making dinner, you are a dancer. Are you a trained professional dancer, perhaps, or maybe not, but you are a dancer. You are!
I also remember her speaking about creativity and how important it is for us as human beings. I love being creative and I lost my creative spark for a while. I’ve noticed I have less anxiety when I’m leaning into my creativity, it helps my energy flow & I find I am more productive for the rest of the day. There are so many ways to bring our creativity and it helps us to release stagnant energy being held in our bodies promoting more peace and flow
Recommend! | Rating 5 of out 5
Journal questions inspired by the book
What have you been saying you are aspiring to be rather than just saying you are that thing? Just because are new at something, doesn’t mean you aren’t a singer, dancer, artist, creator, etc.
What are the most courageous moments in your life? What are you gathering courage for currently, for the future?
When looking to the future and setting goals, do you often feel like you are never going to reach your goal? Have you paused to look back and see how far you’ve come? Reflect on the past goals that you have reached.
How many small joyful moments do you typically have throughout your day? Can you begin to lean into them more throughout the day. You don’t have to try to make the moment last longer, just feel the moment in it’s entirety while it’s there.
What are your favorite ways to express your creativity? Do you ever find yourself resisting your creativity because you don’t want to create if it isn’t going to be perfect? Reflect on how you feel about yourself while you are creating. How can you make it more fun?
What is one thing you can say yes to that you’ve been wanting to do? What is one thing you can say no to that has been draining your energy?
What are your favorite ways to find stillness or slow down? Journaling, yoga, walking, watching animals, etc?
Notice what your mood is right now. Pick a song that represents your current mood. Move your body or dance to the song in a way that feels nice. Notice how you felt before, during, & after. What were your thoughts, if any?
What does living with your whole heart mean to you? Is it something you long for? Does it seem scary?
What was your biggest takeaway from the book and/or the journaling prompts?